True tribute to the India's daughter

Leave girls and women, no brother, leave brother, no HUMAN Indian wouldn't have not felt a piercing sting in the heart over this tragic - what do I call - incident? rape? murder? moral demolition? beginning of an end of conscience? Whatever it is, it points a finger at us in the face and says - "You can do nothing about me. Can you? Can you?"

HELPLESSNESS

This morning my friend told me about her death. Emotions soared high. Feet wanted to move. Palms clutched air. And that's it.

Arnab Goswami on Times Now is asking to maintain calmed demeanor and rightly so "as it will be a great disservice to the martyr to take a violent form on this occasion". We need to introspect. What will happen by protesting at India Gate? Only some visual images would stimulate those on the other side of the camera to give them this (non)sense of something is happening. Like people standing up and calling quotes and displaying posters will change us for the better. Nope, I'm afraid, not. If it were to happen, it would have happened. Aaye din TV pe ye cases aate rahte hain. Nothing taking away from "probably the greatest tragic incident in India" (as quoted by Mr. Jethmalani), I strongly feel such violent upheaval wouldn't prove much benefit to the society. A good example is Mr. Anna Hazare's demeanor against that of Baba Ramdev in the anti-corruption movement and their respective effects on public mood.

Mr. Manmohan Singh is asking us to "channelize our emotions in a constructive way" which means - keep mum like him and see the next parliament session on DD National. We'll do that. Is it? Or is it not? The shame in this "shameful incident" is on us.

Us - The watchful spectator, the silent Indian.

No. Not this moment. Just not this moment. Let's not forget the bravery.

The Braveheart- The very next day the news of gang rape was aired, three of us friends were discussing over the interplay of emotions that that girl would have been facing in case she were conscious. "Should I live? Or should I better die? How can I live with so much trauma for the rest of my life?" Ms. Jaya Bacchhan wept in the parliament empathizing with the girl. And, the fact is that she wanted to live. In such serious condition she battled for 13 days. For life. For dignity. For cause.

"A girl on death bed may have changed the course of young India" said a reporter.

I 'd be happy to think of the positive. So, what is that course? It is not being violent and definitely not being silent. To list few common formulations:
Nationwide violent protests (leads to nowhere, only agitates what is in the bowl)
Talking to friends and colleagues (time pass?)
Candle light marches (temporary arousal of emotions)
Better voting decisions in next Lok Sabha elections (this is a lazy excuse)

Those listed above aren't proper measures in regards to the rape cases. Plus, we as a general public aren't participating in the removal of this social malice. Let me list a few measures whose effectiveness can be discussed over.

1) Every girl over a certain age (may be 15) should be provided with free rechargeable electric stunners, which they may carry in their handbag. Just as the TB patients are being provided free medicines from medical shops. If government doesn't provide free, buy it.

2) Value education - Insert moral builders in the morning pledges of schools such as what Prince Hector says in the movie Troy "All my life I've lived by one code. And that is simple. Love your country. And respect your woman". If the day comes when India registers zero cases of rape, it will only be through value education.

3) This is for the social entrepreneurs. Invent small GPS enabled gadgets like pagers and link it to local police systems. On press of a button from a would-be victim a red alert will be sent to nearby policeman who will be having the receiving pagers. (Policemen are also humans. they are just not inspired enough. If they know of such an imminent incident in the vicinity they will surely run to help.)

4) Compulsory martial arts for girls from class 5th to 12th. In incidents like this one where attackers were a group of men, it may not be useful but in other cases it may be life saving.

5) Make being silent witness to such an incident a crime officially. Indian girl is lot more vulnerable since independence and there must be some necessary changes in law. If such an incident is happening in front of someone, he must try to stop it no matter what.

6) Stop guarding and start arming - Tell your sisters and daughters that they can take care of themselves. Truth is you cannot always protect them. It's about mental strength too. They will act smarter if god-forbid they are cornered.

7) Capital punishment - This is a nuclear weapon. There are problems applying it in the legal system. But again drastic situations calls for drastic measures. Problem is that there may be cases in which innocents can be tricked into a forged rape case. Supreme court stuff.

There can be lot of other improvements and most of us know them. Let us give ourselves a day to think about it and do whatever we can. If we really want something, it will happen.

Condolences to the girl's family and salute to the girl who after the heinous incident faced multiple organ failures, a heart attack and finally cerebral edema, today un-clutched her fist forever.

Time to pay true tribute to the India's daughter through actions.

I'll leave you with following quotes in air related to the incident.



"Abnormal people. Human beings don't do such kind of thing"
"Respect is still so entrenched in the society that the public's anger became evident at India Gate"
"Time bound justice required"
"Must have at least traffic lights on all the roads"
"They must be tried in Saudi Arab style"
"Occasion of speechlessness and grief'
"Not to be taken just as an incident but as an awakening and constant battle"
"We should make sure that we introspect over this loss"



---- Thanks to Shalabh Kumar and Ankur Kalia for their thoughts.

Swimming and risk taking

Just a week ago I resumed swimming after a pause of two months. Though water in there is getting colder day by day but it’s ok. In fact it’s great as each day I discover a bit more and enjoy a tad more. After perfecting freestyle I’m into breast-stroke now. Inch by inch I’ll continue to learn more techniques and flairs. However, learning to swim for the first time is THE memoir. Some guys do it in 2 weeks, some folks in a month and some just never learn.

It’s a well-known quote that “If you wanna learn swimming, you gotta jump into water”. Now every time a newbie jumps in, there is a certain risk involved. The risk is big – one may get drowned! You don’t get a second chance here. That’s why the economics of swimming is far from cycling which you learn after n iterations of falling and balancing.

To put more sense to it lets shift the canvas to a riverside village. You’re a 16 year old boy who never swam and one lazy afternoon you decide to “just do it”. So you run to the riverbank with your buddies and do a survey.  You observe the pattern of waves, whirlpools, boats, swimmers, weeds and hanging tree branches. You convince yourself that it is doable. So you jump in – you touch the water with your feet and run back home.

That boy just laid the foundation for tomorrow. During this night his sub-conscious will check and validate his learning and impart him courage in addition to another important attribute – CONTROL. It's important here to understand control. Control is the underplay of cognitive and subconscious abilities to perform a task at will - without risk. Sigmund Freud vouched for the higher role of sub-conscious in both daily and rare circumstances, a theory that most scientists previously disbelieved. Only the psychology-research of last two decades have re-established his theories. Role of sub-conscious is probably the biggest reason why one cannot learn swimming in a day. 

Next day the boy enters to knee level, runs back home, day next to waist level, next shoulder, next nose and next full into the water. Remember there is no life guard in place, only his friends watching the show. The river howsoever placid is an enigmatic snake. In next few days he paddles while holding the weeds or hollow branches and in next few starts breathing in and out. The whole learning process becomes a [x] graph of controlled risk taking. The subject's confidence fights fear and stamina matches exhaustion. Key is to keep playing according to these balancing points. But it's all not that smooth. 

Like driving-accidents there are mishaps in swimming too. Tragic drowning incidents happen not only in rivers or sea-beaches but also in swimming pools. Contrary to that of driving, swimming's control path is disrupted by mainly an internal factor- PANIC. Its the main reason why scuba diving is considered more dangerous than sky diving or bungee-jumping. So what causes panic? Panic is just an acceleration of neurotic activity that is automatically triggered to handle extreme circumstances. It's basically a sub-conscious defence mechanism. When in panic swimmers start paddling fast and exhaust early. That's where cognitive senses come into play. If properly practised they judge and forewarn one of a panic-situation. They override the sub-conscious and let you assess. There comes many a times when a newbie falls into a dilemma at 80 percent of pool's length to finish till the deep end or not. Well, don't. Don't trust your new-found stamina. Just back out!

The psychology of risk aversion is worth mentioning here. In that same riverside village, meeting a swimmer would not be rare. Considering the big risk involved, why did so many people learn it? In a noble-prize winning study it was found that people tend not to make bet when chances of gaining wealth is more than chances of losing a comparable wealth. On a toss of coin if there is a 50 percent chance to win 10 bucks and 50 percent chance to lose 8 bucks, people averse the risk. Whereas if there is a 70 percent chance to lose 10 bucks and 30 percent chance to win 10 bucks, they do take it! It's a startling contrast to the rationale but true. The expected gain to swimmers is the useful skill, health benefits and fun while expected loss is you know. But many do take it. Humans on an individual level do tend to engage in an activity of uncertain outcome. [ Though It's a completely different case with an organisation of the same people. A whole another blog topic]

After months of practice, I've realized that effortless swimming is all about rhythm, consistency and a stable mindset. During breast-strokes feel like a frog end to end without jitters and that's it. During freestyle feel like a free weightless soul end to end. So on and so forth. It is no doubt the best exercise both for body and mind. To all those who are yet to learn this beautiful skill, just approach it slower and let it seep in. More importantly stay consciously in control.

P.S. - It might have sound too meticulous and loaded with checkpoints for a seemingly simple activity. Well, you're right. Forget it all. Just go in there and have fun.